Categories
Fiction

Do We Really Know?

In 1960, we eighth-graders at St. Raphael’s Catholic school took a series of standardized tests. Solemnly, Sister Cyprian went desk to desk handing each student a multipage test booklet and a number two pencil. We were tested on language and math skills, and I don’t remember what else. 

For inexplicable reasons, the results came to the student. I opened the envelope and peeked at the grades like a poker player rolling out the corner of each card. I had all 99’s. I was disappointed. So close to 100. Why couldn’t I have gotten 100? It was much later that I learned that the scores were percentilesand 99% was the top grade.

My error about the test scores had no real-world consequences. In retrospect, though, I might have made a mental note on how easy it was to misinterpret information. But I was steadfast in my belief that more data got me closer to understanding Reality with a capital R. 

All my life, I’ve approached sticky situations by learning more. When I came to America from China, I scrambled to learn English. I needed language, not just to express myself, but to understand myself. I needed the words to untangle the inchoate feelings that sat like a mass of yarn in my heart. In college, I befriended fellow students to find out about music, politics and love. As a physician, the more I knew medicine, the more I could help patients. Control of the present and the future – in a word hope – rested on a firm grasp of Reality. 

One book has made me rethink this belief. Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead calls itself a murder mystery. Its author is Polish 2018 Nobel Laureate Olga Tokarczuk. 

Olga Tokarczuk

Janina Duszejko is an old woman who lives in a Polish village just across the Czech border. She describes herself in her raincape as looking like “a large gnome.” Most people, including the authorities, see her as “an old woman, gone off her rocker, living in the wilderness.” She thinks that is why the police ignore her letters that explain the rash of mysterious deaths in the village. She tells them that the forest animals have killed these men in revenge for their being hunters.

Duszejko is an educated woman. She had been a bridge engineer. She is translating the poetry of William Blake. Her interior life is full, rich and completely original. She has definitive ideas about what’s going on in the world, in her life, and how everything should be. 

Many of her assumptions center on astrology, her essential world view. A friend asks, “Why are some people evil and nasty?”   “Saturn,” she answers matter-of-factly. 

Modern zodiac wheel showing the 12 signs (Wikipedia)

According to Duszejko, “order does exist, and it is within reach. The stars and planets establish it … no single thing exists separately; every scrap of the world, every last tiny piece, is bound up by a complex Cosmos of correspondences … that is how it works. Like a Japanese car.” 

After studying her own horoscope, she concludes, “I know the date of my own death, and that lets me feel free.” 

She embraces Anger, an emotion Blake expounded on. She concludes, “Without a doubt, Anger is the source of all wisdom, for Anger has the power to exceed any limits.” 

Despite Duszejko’s travels around the world building bridges, her thoughts about neighboring Czechoslovakia are fantasies:

“This [Poland] is a land of neurotic egotists … in the Czech Republic, it’s totally different. The people there are capable of discussing things calmly and nobody quarrels with anyone else. Even if they wanted to, they couldn’t, because their language isn’t suited to quarreling.”

Duszejko explains the flawed logic of her ideas fully, unapologetically, even charmingly. She works hard at her astrology – searching out the birthdates of the dead men and calculating their charts. Yes, her ideas are whacked out, but she is so sincere in her belief. What’s the harm? 

Then I remember reading an article shortly after Election Day quoting Republican leaders saying just that: What’s the harm, they said, in indulging Trump’s claim that he won the election? The harm came on January 6, 2021.

Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead shakes up my foundational belief that Reality is knowable. That belief drives my love of crosswords and mystery books: there is one, and only one, true answer. But this book raises a philosophical question. How can we trust that we know what we know? 

I couldn’t help saving my Jan. 31, 2021 horoscope.

Astrology is a wonderful example. It’s full of actual math, but constellations are random stars from disparate galaxies that make a pattern only from the view of earth. And even then, the Greeks, the Chinese, the Egyptians, the Incas drew different inferences. Because there are, give or take, one billion trillion or 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 stars in the Universe, not only are there no patterns but the data dots are too vast to ever make sense of them. Aargh!

My Chinese zodiac sign!

I did help patients feel better, so they told me. But possibly I over-estimated my expertise. Perhaps they were helped as much by my listening, my concern for them, my sense of humor. 

Worm

Since retiring from medicine, I joke that the only lives I save these days are the exhausted worms trying to cross the sidewalk or the street. I’d pick them up, some still able to wiggle and squirm in my fingers, and put them on the grass. Recently, after rain overnight, I found six pale skinny worms on one slab of sidewalk. I gently lifted them and deposited them on the grass. 

Looking at the grass, I jumped at seeing a patch of it, less than a foot across, rising about three inches, then subsiding, then rising. Prelude to some kind of gas explosion? Is something going to jump out at me? I skedaddled.

I decided that it was probably a mole or a shrew digging underneath. Maybe the worms were trying to escape getting eaten. I had thrown them back into the jaws of death. I just don’t know any more.

Most novels change how you feel. This one changed how I think. 

Tell me: Have you ever given up some hardcore belief?

By Cathy Luh

I am a doctor, a writer and Grammy to Edin and Caleb. I live in St. Louis with husband Bill.

7 replies on “Do We Really Know?”

Oh, Cathy, such an Asian student opening! A – was never enough. Very interesting comments on bias by your readers.
I was once a budding activist. Our group even studied the writings of Mao and practiced self-criticism. Having read Fanshen, I thought I understood why communism was preferable. I was not a hard-core believer, but I understood. Now reading about what was really happening in China under communism (and still is) was abhorent. History is so important, but it depends on who is doing the writing, who is telling the story. One truth, absolute power corrupts.
Jane

Liked by 1 person

I have been much more cognizant of my biases since the pandemic.. especially confirmation bias..my growing up biases had a lot of support..confirmed often by family, community and church..not all bad but limited. Pursuing different perspectives is now integral to who I am…but possibly building new biases… challenging times

Liked by 1 person

I love this review! I too suspect that I shouldn’t trust what I think I know. That’s because I suffer from a lot more than just “perceptual bias.” I’m a frequent victim of “hunger-exhaustion bias.” An early experience:
When I was a young newspaper reporter, I sold a feature story to a magazine. For actual money! My plan was to launch a career as a magazine journalist. The next step: Sell this magazine a second story, and then a third, and then do the same for other publications.
But one night I came home exhausted after a grueling, miserable workday to find a letter from the magazine’s editor. It was just a bookkeeping matter, but I was stunned by his final words: “We have enjoyed doing business with you.”
Past tense! It was all over! I was crushed. One story, and my career was finished. I had no talent, no skill, no future.
The next day, after a good night’s sleep, I picked up the letter again. On the page were the same words, but with a completely different meaning. The editor was simply telling me that the magazine was pleased to have published my story — that’s all. The magazine did buy more stories from me, as did other publications, etc., etc., and I lived happily ever after. My lesson: Beware! Whatever I think I know, it’s probably wrong.

Liked by 2 people

After reading this book, I’m so much more aware of all the non sequiturs that get passed for fact, all the unthinking assumptions that are made. It’s making kinda crazy.

Like

I’m sure you’re familiar with the phenomenon of ‘perceptual bias.’ As we mature, we develop a sense of how the world works. We seek out and accept information consistent with our world view while avoiding and rejecting contrary evidence, thus strengthening our model over time. We geezers are known to be ‘set in our ways.’ Horoscopes are great examples of perceptual bias – we see how descriptors associated with our sign (any sign will do, if we believe it is ‘ours’) fit our circumstances. As for a personal change, I was raised in a strict fundamentalist Christian church. At age 18, the illogic of the whole structure appeared to me like an epiphany, a reverse ‘come-to-Jesus’ moment. My world view totally changed and I’ve had that bias ever since.

Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s