Pumping Iron Under Protest

I have long contended that only men in prison enjoy lifting weights. That’s because their lives are so boring! And for self-protection, of course. Still, why would the rest of us who have other options – like getting a root canal or reading War and Peace or just aerating the lawn – want to lift weights? 

I found out the hard way that I am so wrong. 

Finally, I realized that all that stuff they say about people losing muscle mass as they get older – the medical term is sarcopenia – applies to me too! What a drag! I knew it was bad when I couldn’t hold the wok steady in my left hand to ladle out the hot stir-fry with my right. 

But…but…but! My lifestyle is active. I walk my hilly neighborhood every day. I play tennis and golf regularly.  I flex with yoga. I eat healthy. I spent decades preaching to my patients about nutrition and exercise. But, if you live long enough to become old, you can’t escape sarcopenia. 

The good news first: there’s a fix for it.

The bad news: that fix is resistance training. That means weight training, whether free weights like dumbbells, or machines like leg or shoulder press machines, or resistance bands. 

In her 2022 book Embrace Aging: Conquer Your Fears and Enjoy Added Years, my friend Jeannette Guerrasio, MD, recommends resistance-training for osteoporosis, better balance, and overall well-being. It’s a great book! Still, I waited two years to read it because I thought issues of aging didn’t mean me.

Embrace Aging is organized by common challenges faced by the elderly: Falls, Grief and Loss, Urinary Incontinence, Insomnia – over twenty chapters in all. Each chapter analyzes a problem, tells what you can do about it, and what you can expect your doctor to do about it.

If you are in such good shape that you don’t have any issues, or if, like me, you are deep into denial, pick up this book for the humorous subchapter headings. 

Osteoarthritis: I’m fine but everything hurts. 

Hair Loss: Your favorite hairs are vanishing.  

Constipation: Constipation makes me wait.

Mild Cognitive Impairment and Dementia: It’s just a senior moment…right?

Or more seriously, Elder Abuse: Look out for each other.

And Medication Dosing: Start low and go slow.

***

I joined Club Fitness a year ago. It’s a full-service gym. In one part of the large, airplane hangar-sized space, dozens of treadmills, stationary bikes, stair steppers, ellipticals, and rowing machines stand at the ready for those wanting cardio training. These I understand. 

Next come the machines that isolate and work on different muscle groups. Things you squeeze with your arms, things you push with your legs, cords attached to stacks of weights for arms and legs to pull or kick in every direction.

Scattered around are racks of free weights: bone-shaped hand weights; heavy metal discs reminiscent of medieval breaking wheels; kettlebell weights, essentially, cannonballs with handles; barbells, long metal rods that would be called “blunt instruments” in murder mysteries. Exercises with this equipment are done at various stations or on a large, cushioned floor. 

While tugging back and forth on the rowing machine, I watch the beehive of physical exertion going on around me. Many of the floor exercises that the gym regulars do are variations of what I do in yoga, but with a higher degree of difficulty and many more reps.

Others use machines that help with chin-ups and pull-ups. One woman exerts herself on a back-strengthening contraption that anchors her legs while she bends and raises her torso. She adds to the difficulty by clutching one of the afore-mentioned metal discs to her chest. I’m astounded by the discipline, dedication, knowledge of physiology, not to mention the physiques, of some of these gym users. 

Everyone seems to know how to use the muscle-strengthening machines. The looming contraptions scare me. They look like giant versions of my kid’s 1980s Transformer toys. They could just as well be machines in a car assembly line. They are big enough to seriously hurt someone.  

Then there’s the vocabulary: curls, pull-ups, flies, reverse flies, presses, rows, cable crossovers. To me, these are random nouns. It’s the same feeling I get reading business prospectuses. Random nouns. 

The only way to navigate this situation is to hire a trainer, a very long-suffering trainer. 

His name is Casey. Despite being thirty years younger than I, a foot taller and twice as strong, Casey is a pussycat. He cajoles. He corrects my form. He puts up with my protests.

“I didn’t sleep well last night.”

“I can’t do that weight. My triceps are the size of chicken tenders.”

“My adductors/pectorals/glutes/you name it ache from last time.” 

“I’m a grown-up. You can’t make me.” 

“I need to take a drink.” 

And its corollary, “I have to pee.” 

I see Casey twice a week for 30 minutes. We’ve repeated many of the same exercises, and yet he must remind me of where I plant my feet, whether my hands face forward or towards me, and, of course, what tension or weight to set on each machine. Every time. 

Each machine has diagrams showing which muscles are being exercised. I complain to Casey that those diagrams are only there to point to where I’m going to ache the next day.  

When I started in October of last year, I told Casey that my goals were 

1. to not get hurt 

2. to increase my stamina, especially on the tennis court and 

3. to have bigger glutes. 

I have seen results in surprising circumstances. A slow underarm turn while doing the foxtrot used to throw me off balance. Not anymore. My neck is less scrunched when the yoga teacher says to relax my neck. Who knew my neck was floppy? My tennis serves have more pop!  And surprisingly, I’ve lost an inch in my waist despite gaining a couple of pounds.

I keep asking husband Bill if my glutes are more substantial. He gives a little squeeze but refuses to commit. 

Casey’s instruction and good humor help to ease my reluctant entrance into the ranks of the aged. Dr. Guerrasio’s book Embrace Aging: Conquer Your Fears and Enjoy Added Years does that too! 

Enjoy!! 

Tell me: What – if anything – surprised you into realizing that you might be old?